Ambulances with Sirens Barreling Up & Down My Street Make it Nearly Impossible to Sleep...

I would smoke a cigarette right now if i had not already quit....

i found a poem on New Years Eve, one of my worst night's to date.... the "Holidays" do not become me, they are the wrong shade for my skin tone....I digress.... back to the poem.... the poem....
its point was as poignant as the tip of an arrow and it hit me like a drum.

I will share it with you now:

'Time does not bring relief; you all have lied

  Who told me time would ease me of my pain!
  I miss him in the weeping of the rain;
I want him at the shrinking of the tide;
The old snows melt from every mountain-side,
  And last year's leaves are smoke in every lane;
  But last year's bitter loving must remain
Heaped on my heart, and my old thoughts abide!

There are a hundred places where I fear
  To go, -- so with his memory they brim!
And entering with relief some quiet place
Where never fell his foot or shone his face
I say, "There is no memory of him here!"
  And so stand stricken, so remembering him!?

- Edna St. Vincent Millay